I exercise - I run my mouth, push my luck, and jump to conclusions!

I used to love to walk until my back, hips, knees, and feet had a say in the matter. Now I don't walk too far without them all complaining. My friend and I thought that maybe we should start walking every day on the tread mills in the gym.

"Okay, that sounds good. What time should we do it?" I asked.

Viv said, "How about 3:00?"

"Wait, that would interfere with 'Music in the Courtyard.'"

"What about 5:00?" Viv tried.

"No, that won't work either, because of the Watering Hole." (Both events consist of getting together with the group, listening to music, and drinking.)

This went back and forth a few more times until we settled on 8:00 am before our water aerobics class. But we've yet to go because we've both been sick.

I've talked about my water aerobics class before. While we're here in Arizona for the winter months, I usually attend the class five days a week. I don't attend the real physical one - just the medium one. I don't swim laps in the pool, because a) I am afraid of water; b) they don't make water wings for adults, and c) I almost drowned when I was in high school so it scarred me for life.

Jogging - now THERE's a sport for ya. Seriously. Have you EVER seen a happy jogger? When we used to live in a home, there was an older man who jogged in the neighborhood every day. He did NOT look happy. In fact, he looked like he was about to keel over any minute. He wasn't gaining any fans of the sport, I'll tell you!

I tried jogging once. Too hard on my shin splints. And if you are big breasted? Not gonna happen. a) It's not pretty b) It's distracting to people/traffic going by, and c) It left bruises on my cheeks from my boobs slapping me in the face. Yeah. So scratch jogging off the list.

You've read on previous posts that I played bocce ball here. And got beaten by a blind man. Do you get the feeling that I suck at anything athletic? Yeah. I was the one that was picked last for teams in school. I wasn't fat in high school. In fact, I had a great shape.

I was THRILLED the day I broke a bone in my foot in gym class. It was only the second day in Track and Field. The doctor said I had to be out of gym for six weeks! I practically fell onto my knees and shouted, "Praise be the Lord!" Track and Field only ran six weeks. Buh-bye! So sorry I had to miss it!

A few years ago I was thinking of trying roller blading. That was, until this woman came into the library where I was working. She had a cast on her arm. That wasn't so bad, except the fact that her arm jutted out at a 90 degree angle DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HER BODY.

"Oh, boy, what happened to you?" I asked her sympathetically.

"Roller blading," She answered.

"Oh no!" I said, already deciding that I would NEVER try it!

"Yeah," she continued, "I didn't even leave the store. I put on the skates and skated over to the table to look at the knee and arm pads and just fell down. They had to call an ambulance for me right there in the store!"

"Oh my God!" I tried not to laugh, but it was pretty hard. This poor thing had to do EVERYTHING with her arm sticking out in front of her. It was quite comical, actually. Not for her, I'm sure. I can't imagine her lying down in bed and seeing her arm straight up in the air.

And THAT, my friends, is why I'll never roller blade.

Maybe I'll just get the Wii fit. This way, if I fall off that platform, it's only about an inch. How bad can that be? Course, I broke my foot doing a hop-step-and-a-jump off a one inch mat so it COULD be bad.

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