Crooked Toesies

Did you ever wonder why our toes don't have names like our fingers?


C'mon. Am I the only one losing sleep over this?

Actually, the "Big" toe is the only one that is officially called the "hallux". Which sounds close to "holler" which is what you do when you stub that big boy! I guess by not naming the rest of the toes, the medical profession figured they could just go jump in the lake.

Here are some suggestions that you could use:


Big Toe - "the one who went to market", "who shops till he/she drops", a.k.a. "Big Hall"

the next toe - If yours is taller than your big toe (medical term "Morton's syndrome")- you can go with "Too Tall Jones", OR "the one who stayed home" a.k.a. "stick-in-the-mud"

the third toe - middle one - the "F-U" toe of the foot - "the one who ate roast beef", a.k.a. "carny"

the fourth toe - "pinkie's BFF" or "the one who had none", a.k.a. "the pauper"

and last, but not least, well wait, in this case it IS the least,

the fifth toe - "pinkie", the one who couldn't hold it and went wee-wee-wee all the way home, a.k.a. "depends", a.k.a. "stubby" for two reasons a) because he/she is, well, for lack of a better word, stubby, and b) it's usually the toe that gets stubbed.

You may wonder where this post is going.

Frankly, so am I.

My toesies are a thing of wonder to me.

Why you ask?

Well, for one thing, you don't realize how much you use your toes till you break one. I have broken my pinkie/depends/stubby three times over the years. (I've discussed this in previous posts.) I won't bore you with the details, but two of the times were when I was going through momentous occasions, like graduating from junior college and giving birth the following morning. (Boy would a therapist have fun with THAT little detail!)

Anytoe, just standing in the shower, do you know that your toes actually GRIP the floor?

I KNOW! I didn't either. But when you have a broken toe? It becomes pretty obvious.

I've been having problems with "Big Hall" for a year now, and I KNOW I need to see a specialist, but have been putting that off.

But the REAL reason for this post, and there is one, believe me, is to share with you the story of crooked toesies.

You see, "pinkie's BFF", a.k.a. "pauper" on my left foot is crooked. The tip of the toe turns in to the right. It is genetic.

You know when your babies are born, how the first thing you look at (after their adorable faces, of course), are their fingers and toes?

Well, that's what I did. And imagine how happy I was to see that same crooked little second toe on the left foot! Yep! No doubt about it! That baby was mine!

Both my son AND my daughter have the crooked toe.

And now my granddaughter, Lily, too, has the crooked toe!

The legacy lives on!

When we were visiting my daughter recently, I wanted to paint Lily's toe nails. It was her first time.

So here's Grandmama painting Lily's toesies while Mommy holds her chubby little foot still. Grandpa took the picture.

Then we tried Mommy polishing Lily's toesies while Grandma snapped the photo.

Now here's Jessica painting my nails.

What you don't see and hear (Thank GOD) is me laughing hysterically with the tears running down my face. You see, I am really, REALLY ticklish. It is really difficult to get that toe separator doohickey between my toes. I squeal, cry, and laugh all at the same time, while trying to hold in my pee. It is quite a sight to see.

Here I am painting my daughter's toenails.

Now. I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Look at how OLD her hands look!"

I know.

My daughter took this picture. The camera zoomed in and focused on MY HANDS instead of HER TOES. So you see every wrinkle, vein and dry skin patch as if it were under a microscope.

Thanks for that, Jess.

And now, drum roll please!

The finished product(s). Notice the three crooked toes! Enlarge to see all those pretty toesies, crooked and straight!

Kisses all around!

Lily's little feet are just the cutest! She often sits with her ankles crossed.

I just love to kiss her feet. There's nothing like the smoothness of baby's feet. Lily loves when we play "stinky pinkies" and Grandma sniffs her toesies and makes a BIG DEAL about the smell! She will move her leg over and point her toe right up to my nose if I'm not quick enough to sniff!

Well, it's time for this little piggy to go WEE, WEE, WEE, all the way home!
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