Things that Piss Me Right the Heck Off - Part Deux

When Grocery Carts



a) stick to each other and I can't get them apart no matter how hard I try and pull on them.

b) have one wheel that has a mind of it's own and goes in a different direction from the other wheels, and

c) have garbage left in them from the last shopper. C'mon, PEOPLE, throw your garbage OUT!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When my husband doesn't believe something is true unless he, himself, has seen it, experienced it, tasted it, etc. Otherwise? It just DIDN'T happen.

This makes me FURIOUS.

Case in point.

These are the handles for the hot and cold water in our shower stall.



The plastic piece on the left handle keeps flying off (hmmmm - "flying off the handle" is THAT where it came from?) when I go to turn off the hot water. That little sucker ricochets in our teeny tiny shower and one day it's going to break our glass shower door. EVERY DAY I have to contend with screwing that little handle back in.

THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!

The other day Jim happened to be in the bedroom when I was taking a shower (they're both in the same area.) The handle went flying and I screamed, "WHEN ARE YOUR GOING TO FIX THIS DAMN HANDLE?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"It keeps coming off!"

"Well, it NEVER happened to ME!" He replied.

Ah. So that means it NEVER happened.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!



Going to the movie theater and

a) paying outrageous prices for stale popcorn and pop in cups SO LARGE that if you drank it all you would wee-wee all the way home,

b) now having to sit through commercials, COMMERCIALS, before the movie starts!! I'm not talking previews, which I love, but COMMERCIALS,

c) putting up with people talking during the show. I'm not talking a quick, "What did he say?" question. I'm talking laughing, gabbing, texting, and phoning during the show,

d) not having the guts to tell the above people to "SHUT UP!"

e) wondering, "WHY DOES THE SOUND HAVE TO BE TURNED UP SO LOUD?" I have such sensitive ears and I swear by the end of a movie, especially one with special effects, I'll have blood dripping from my ear drums, it's SO LOUD.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do these two bottles have in common?



I can't open them.

They are "twist" off.

The only thing they do is "PISS" me OFF. So if I were dying of thirst, the only way I could get something to drink was if my husband was home to open the bottles.

Well, I suppose I could just drink tap water.

There's that.

But the water in this campground is DREADFUL. It's RUSTY. It's SMELLY.

So, no, I won't be drinking it anytime soon.

I wanted some of that juice this morning. I couldn't open it. Jim was out taking a walk. So I went without juice.

I KNOW.

And those water bottles - not only can't I open them, but they are making them so cheap now that when you go to grab them the plastic indents and I end up squirting water all over. PLUS why do they have to fill the water up to the very brim?

Go ahead. Lecture me about buying bottled water. About filling the landfills.

I KNOW. But even though we have a water filter system, it cleans the water enough to BATHE, but I don't cook with it, let alone drink it. So, alas, we have to buy our water.

Why can't they make bottles with that little plastic strip for easy off lids like they do milk cartons?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL OF THESE THINGS REALLY PISS ME OFF!!

What has been pissing YOU off lately?



NOTE: Thanks to all of you for your concern about me yesterday with my toe. I am feeling MUCH better today - I can walk with a slight limp. By tomorrow I will be as good as new, or as good as "slightly used", oh, hell, who am I kidding, as good as "rode-hard-and-put-away-wet-but-still-has-SOME-life-left-in-her" new.

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Big Hall goes to the Doctor

Okay so here's the thing. My big toe, a.k.a. Big Hall, has been hurting me for about 9 months now. I first went to my doctor in December and told her of the pain I was experiencing in my toe. The x-rays showed some arthritis in the joint.

Six months later my toe has gotten a lot worse; I can't walk for any length of time without my foot swelling, my toe throbbing, and me limping. I was tired of pussy-footing around (pardon the pun) and made an appointment with an orthopaedic specialist. I've seen these doctors before for other problems.

The doctor made a quick examination of my toe, bending it this way and that, all the while I winced and whimpered. He thought the best plan of action was a cortisone shot right in the joint.

"Is it going to hurt?" I asked, like I was a little kid.

"Just a little," he replied as he left the room to get supplies.

He lied like a mother tucker.

First he had to grab my toe.

Problem number one. The ticklish factor.

Okay I can deal with that. But I thought it best if I lie down on the examining table so I didn't have to watch him do his dirty deed.

Then came the small prick. Didn't think I'd ever complain about that, but, yes, it did hurt. But it wasn't intolerable.

The doctor kept telling me to breathe and he imitated breathing like the Lamaze method where you take short breaths and breathe fast.

Let me tell you, this was worse than freaking labor.

Not only did he move that dagger of a needle back and forth, but he also bent my toe, my poor, poor SORE toe, forward and backwards, till I was letting out a blood curdling scream.

Not a short one, either.

A continuous one.

How embarrassing. I actually tried to bite down on my arm to quiet my scream, like in the olden days when they made the child-bearing mother bite down on a wooden spoon, but then I realized I'd only be hurting myself even MORE.

He was lucky I didn't kick him in the nuts.

I probably WOULD HAVE, but that was my bad foot.

I had to lie there a few minutes to gather myself together. The doctor came over by me, rubbed my arm, gave me his puppy-dog-eyed look and asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yes", I said.

But what I WANTED to say was, "Whaddya think? You just about broke my toe off, then jabbed a needle in so far that it came out the other side of my toe? Here, let me do it to YOU!"

After the torturing was over, the doctor dictated in a small recorder while I sat there. He started out by saying my name, my age, that I was a "well-nourished" (read rotund) female. I actually laughed out loud at that part. Then he went on to state my height and weight. Thank GOD Jim wasn't in the room with me or I would have a decision to make - who was closer - slap my hand over the doctor's mouth - or clamp my hands over Jim's ears. Whew! Sure am glad I told Jim to wait outside!

I was relaying this story to my sister, and when I got to the part about how the doctor called me "well-nourished" she said, "How does he know that?"

I said, "Well, by looking at me!"

It took a second to realize that because of my laryngitis, she thought I said, "well-NURSED" instead of "well-nourished".

Now I see her confusion!

It is now four hours since the cortisone shot, and my toe feels worse than when I went into the doctor. It is throbbing and so painful. I sure hope this shot kicks in soon.

Or I'll have to kick somebody's a$$!

I called the doctor's office to find out why my toe is hurting so much. This is what they said.

"There are two different reactions to cortisone shots. Some people have immediate relief. Other people have a temporary relief, then as the day goes on they have excruciating pain that lasts from 12-24 hours. That is the cortisone trying to do its job."

Great. So now I'm propped up in bed with ice on my throbbing FOOT, mascara smeared down my face from my tears, my voice is still hoarse, and I have my lap top, my book, a magazine, and all the remotes at my fingertips. I'm good for the night. That is, until I have to get up to pee.

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It's been hotter than Hades

here, but even if I lived near Knot's Berry Farm in California, I STILL wouldn't go on the Pacific Spin ride and here are three reasons why:

"The ride’s enormous slide sucks riders through a 132-foot long tunnel and at 35 feet per second, drops them 75 feet


and into a six-story funnel. About 5,500 gallons of water tosses riders back and forth in the funnel (that little yellow blob is actually a raft with FOUR people riding in it!)



before dumping them into a waiting catch pool." Per The Orange Register.


1) I'd have to wear a bathing suit,

2) I'm afraid of water, and

3) I'd have to weigh in before entering the ride. Granted I'd weigh in as a GROUP. The weight total doesn't show up - only three different colored lights: The red light means a group is too heavy. A yellow light means a group of up to four is under 700 pounds, light enough for one of the ride’s four-seat rafts. A green light means a group is under 400 pounds and can ride a two-seater. Riders are not allowed to go solo.

Only the ride operators will see the lights. No where did I read what they do if the group is too heavy. Banish them to the end of the line? Put them in a dungeon and starve them till they're the correct weight? Sacrifice one of the group members? What happens, exactly?

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The word of the day is.....

I used to be a good speller. You name it, I could spell it. Well, maybe I couldn't win the National Spelling Bee, but still, I WAS a good speller.

But the past few years I've been finding myself struggling over how to spell simple words.

Like "the".

Okay, maybe not that simple. But words that wouldn't have stumped me in the past. Did you ever look at a word so long that it's spelling looks foreign to you?

Anyway, I've come to rely on this website more often then I care to admit:

www.dictionary.com

I usually leave it up as a tab on my lap top, because inevitably I will be looking up a word. Now I know you are asking yourselves, "Don't you have spell-check?"

Why, yes, yes I do. But I come from the old school where if you don't know the spelling of a word, you look it up in your Funk and Wagnells (for you younger folks, that was a publisher of a dictionary. I always liked saying their name.)

Dictionary.com is wonderful because if I type in the word I am looking for and misspell it, it offers words that I might be looking for instead (read CORRECT spelling).

Well, thanks for that! Thanks for being my brain today.

Besides being a dictionary and thesaurus, it offers many, many other enjoyable links like:

1)Daily Crossword, and if you like that then you'll really like
2)Crossword Solver which let's you type in clues for a crossword puzzle and gives you suggestions for answers (awesome!)
3)Word games
4)Word of the day

And, to my amusement, a whole list of new slang words and their definitions. I'm not going to keep these to myself. I am going to spread the wealth.

You're welcome.

The real definition taken right from the website is listed first; my interpretation or comments are listed second and are in italics.

1. Yatata-yatata - [ˈjætətəˈjætətə]

n. The sound of chatter or yak. : He gets on the phone, and it's yatata-yatata for hours.

This is not to be mistaken for "yada, yada, yada", made famous on Seinfeld, meaning the same as "blah, blah, blah."

I liked yatata-yatata much better when I first thought it was pronounced "ya-TATA-ya-TATA". It flowed so easily off the tongue. But I guess that sounds too close to "yo ta-tas" meaning "your boobies", so they had to put the accent on the first syllable.

2. umpty-ump [ˈəmptiˈəmpθ]

Thousandth, billionth, zillionth, etc. (Represents some very large but indefinite number.) : This is the umpty-umpth time I've told you to keep your dog out of my yard.

I personally like bazillion, or gazillion, but umpty-ump has a nice ring to it!

3. kafooster [kəˈfustɚ]

n. nonsense. : This kafooster about me being a cheater is too much.

This is a fun word! Say it! KAFOOSTER! It IS a nonsense word! I love it!

4. meshuga

crazy. (From Hebrew meshuggah via Yiddish.) : This guy is meshugah!

Another fun word that slides off the tongue! I love me some of those Yiddish words like verklempt, schlepping, chutzpah, etc. Almost makes me want to learn the language. ALMOST.

5. Tango Yankee

PHRASE. Means "Thank You." (NATO Phonetic Alphabet.): Tango Yankee for the email.

Ookaay, so Tango Yankee does NOT mean a Northern Dancer. It means "T" as in "Tango" and "Y" as in "Yankee", and I guess in texting you could write TY or just plain thx, but Tango Yankee is a take off of of the phonetic alphabet.

My husband was in the Navy, and he still relies on this alphabet when he relays things over the phone. I am amazed how things come to mind so easily for him, because I'm always scrambling like "P" as in, uh, "Puke", "A" as in "apple" and "T" as in "Tom". Here is the alphabet according to NATO:

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Pappa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whisky, Xray, Yankee, Zulu.

6. janky

n. Messed up; bad; inferior. : Sorry that my room is so janky.

Gee, why can't body parts be janky? Sorry that my foot is so janky. Sorry that my knee is so janky. I like it! Do you think the doctor will understand me when I go to see him next week about "Big Hall" and tell him that it's "janky"? He'll probably smell my breath to see if I've been drinking. Better yet, if I still don't have a regular voice by then, he'll probably shove a thermometer up my, er, ear.

7. AWHFY

abbreviation. Are we having fun yet? This isn't the fun that you stated or implied it would be, is it? This is really dull. , Gr8t d8t! AWHFY?

Another great abbreviation for texting. I think we should just go around saying it, "Aw-fee", short for "Are We Having Fun Yet?"

8. Rambo(ize) [ˈræmbo(ɑɪz)]

To (figuratively) annihilate someone or something; to harm someone or something. (Collegiate. From the powerful film character Rambo.) : The students ramboed the cafeteria, and the cops were called.

I LIKE this word! I wanted to ramboize my computer the other day when I couldn't hook up to the WI-FI. I want to ramboize this freakin' germ that has set up house in my body and doesn't seem to want to leave home.

9. EGBOK

abbreviation. Everything's Going to BE OKAY
Don't worry, everything will be fine. : EGBOK. Stop fretting.

When someone is worrying and whining about something, just think of the comfort they will get from you as they lean on your shoulder and you pat their back, murmuring over and over, "EGBOK, EGBOK." Sounds like alien talk, doesn't it? Maybe it would help to have you hands in the "Live long and prosper" position, too.



10. Glick [glɪk]

A strange person; a nerd. : Fred seems to be a classic glick, but he is really an all-right guy.

Well, why don't we call a spade a spade, and in this case, a nerd a nerd, but I guess "Glick" is the updated version. You know, I used to work with a man who's last name was "Glick". Let's just say that he lived up to his name.


11. Word of mouse

n. A message spread by email. (Contrived. Refers to a computer mouse. A play on word of mouth.) : A lot of these jokes are spread by word of mouse.

Now THIS is darn right adorable. Word of mouse. Ha! And so fitting for the millennium!

12. XMT

Abbreviation. Excuse My Typing; I am sorry I type so poorly. (Used in email and computer forum or newsgroup messages. Not pronounced aloud.) : XMT. I have a sore finger and I keep hitting the wrong keys.

XMT, not to be confused with XM as in XM RADIO, or XL, the word right before XM, meaning extra-large. XMT - that's what I should have put at the beginning of this post. If you could only see all the typing errors I have made. Thankfully I went back and corrected them. Well most of them. If you find any, I apologize!

Okay, little children, you've done your homework for today. Go pour yourself a big glass of milk and take a couple of warm chocolate chip cookies from the plate.

I said A COUPLE!

That means TWO!!

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Flashback Friday - Carnton Plantation

We have traveled to many places and seen so many wonderful things over these last five years; but I've been only blogging for just about two years. I decided to start something called, "Flashback Friday", where I dig back in our pictures and bore, ahem, entertain you with some vacation stories and photos. Kind of like going over to the neighbor's house and seeing their slides from vacation, only dinner isn't included here. Sorry!

Back in November 2007 we passed through Nashville, TN. We did a lot of the touristy things, which I will leave for another time.

Today I want to share with you the Carnton Plantation.



This plantation is located in Franklin, TN, just outside of Nashville. It was built in 1826 by Randal McGavock, who had been the Mayor of Nashville at one time. Carnton was a prestigious plantation in the area. When Randal died, he left the house to his son, John. John married Carrie Elizabeth Winder and they had five children, three of whom died young.

Carrie Elizabeth Winder


photo courtesy of www.carnton.org


Back of Carnton Plantation



Back porch of plantation



Gardens



This HUGE tree was next to the house. True, this is just a baby next to the tree, but you can still get the idea of just how large the tree really is!



The town of Franklin might not ring a bell with you, but it was the site of one of the bloodiest battles during the Civil War. The Battle of Franklin happened at 4 pm on November 30, 1864. The Confederate army quietly sneaked in the darkness of the night and attacked the Federal army that was entrenched around the southern edge of Franklin. A mere five hours later, over 9,000 solders were killed, wounded, captured or missing, the majority being Confederate soldiers.

The Carnton Plantation was very near to the battlefield and was used as a Confederate hospital.

"A staff officer later wrote that 'the wounded, in hundreds, were brought to [the house] during the battle, and all the night after. And when the noble old house could hold no more, the yard was appropriated until the wounded and dead filled that....'"

courtesy of www.carnton.org

The dead soldiers were buried right on the battlefield. When the war ended, the Union soldiers were dug up and buried in the National Cemetery in Nashville. The Confederate soldiers were left in the field.

Carrie McGavock had grown close to the soldiers during their care and stay at her house. She did not want them to stay in the field with unmarked graves. So she and her husband decided to bring the boys back home and bury the soldiers (almost 1,500) on their land. In 1886 they designated two acres of land for a Confederate Cemetery, which is the largest privately owned military cemetery in the nation.



One of the stories we were told on our tour of the plantation is that when a family found out that their son was killed in the war, and buried on the McGavock's land, the parent's were adamant that their son be buried in the dirt from his state. So they made the trip (I can't remember where the soldier was from), with a wagon full of red dirt, and when they arrived to the cemetery, they covered their son's grave with the dirt from "home".

The next three photos show the monuments for three different states, and the total casualties on each stone.

















You may have heard about the book called, "The Widow of the South", by Robert Hicks.



This is a fiction novel, based on the events of the Battle of Franklin. Carrie McGavock IS the Widow of the South. It is a wonderful book. I listened to it on cd, and it was a marvelous adventure.

I have two videos for you to watch. The first one is quite interesting. It's a video of INSIDE the plantation and narrated by Robert Hicks, the author of The Widow of the South. You may notice that I did not have any photos of INSIDE the plantation because pictures were NOT allowed. So this video gives you a glimpse of inside.



This second video is just a quick one of the cemetery. It will probably bring tears to your eyes, as it did mine, because the music is moving, as are the pictures.




After a somber visit at the plantation, we stopped for a bite at the Loveless Cafe.






This little off-the-beaten-path is quite famous to both the locals AND the celebrity crowd. Here are just SOME of the pictures on the wall of people who have eaten here.



The inside is down-home and very informal. And the food? My mouth is just watering thinking about it. They start you off with home made biscuits. TO.DIE.FOR. They also give you two or three different kinds of home made jams. They have a wide range of food on their menu, but their specialty is fried chicken. That's what I had and it was delish!



Across the parking lot is the Loveless Market. You can buy a lot of treats and souvenirs there. If you are interested in their on-line catalog, click here.



I hope you enjoyed your little tour of Franklin, TN.

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Crooked Toesies

Did you ever wonder why our toes don't have names like our fingers?

No?

C'mon. Am I the only one losing sleep over this?

Actually, the "Big" toe is the only one that is officially called the "hallux". Which sounds close to "holler" which is what you do when you stub that big boy! I guess by not naming the rest of the toes, the medical profession figured they could just go jump in the lake.

Here are some suggestions that you could use:


(NOTE:NOT MY TOE)

Big Toe - "the one who went to market", "who shops till he/she drops", a.k.a. "Big Hall"

the next toe - If yours is taller than your big toe (medical term "Morton's syndrome")- you can go with "Too Tall Jones", OR "the one who stayed home" a.k.a. "stick-in-the-mud"

the third toe - middle one - the "F-U" toe of the foot - "the one who ate roast beef", a.k.a. "carny"

the fourth toe - "pinkie's BFF" or "the one who had none", a.k.a. "the pauper"

and last, but not least, well wait, in this case it IS the least,

the fifth toe - "pinkie", the one who couldn't hold it and went wee-wee-wee all the way home, a.k.a. "depends", a.k.a. "stubby" for two reasons a) because he/she is, well, for lack of a better word, stubby, and b) it's usually the toe that gets stubbed.

You may wonder where this post is going.

Frankly, so am I.

My toesies are a thing of wonder to me.

Why you ask?

Well, for one thing, you don't realize how much you use your toes till you break one. I have broken my pinkie/depends/stubby three times over the years. (I've discussed this in previous posts.) I won't bore you with the details, but two of the times were when I was going through momentous occasions, like graduating from junior college and giving birth the following morning. (Boy would a therapist have fun with THAT little detail!)

Anytoe, just standing in the shower, do you know that your toes actually GRIP the floor?

I KNOW! I didn't either. But when you have a broken toe? It becomes pretty obvious.

I've been having problems with "Big Hall" for a year now, and I KNOW I need to see a specialist, but have been putting that off.

But the REAL reason for this post, and there is one, believe me, is to share with you the story of crooked toesies.

You see, "pinkie's BFF", a.k.a. "pauper" on my left foot is crooked. The tip of the toe turns in to the right. It is genetic.

You know when your babies are born, how the first thing you look at (after their adorable faces, of course), are their fingers and toes?

Well, that's what I did. And imagine how happy I was to see that same crooked little second toe on the left foot! Yep! No doubt about it! That baby was mine!

Both my son AND my daughter have the crooked toe.

And now my granddaughter, Lily, too, has the crooked toe!

The legacy lives on!

When we were visiting my daughter recently, I wanted to paint Lily's toe nails. It was her first time.

So here's Grandmama painting Lily's toesies while Mommy holds her chubby little foot still. Grandpa took the picture.



Then we tried Mommy polishing Lily's toesies while Grandma snapped the photo.



Now here's Jessica painting my nails.



What you don't see and hear (Thank GOD) is me laughing hysterically with the tears running down my face. You see, I am really, REALLY ticklish. It is really difficult to get that toe separator doohickey between my toes. I squeal, cry, and laugh all at the same time, while trying to hold in my pee. It is quite a sight to see.

Here I am painting my daughter's toenails.



Now. I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Look at how OLD her hands look!"

I know.

My daughter took this picture. The camera zoomed in and focused on MY HANDS instead of HER TOES. So you see every wrinkle, vein and dry skin patch as if it were under a microscope.

Thanks for that, Jess.

And now, drum roll please!

The finished product(s). Notice the three crooked toes! Enlarge to see all those pretty toesies, crooked and straight!



Kisses all around!



Lily's little feet are just the cutest! She often sits with her ankles crossed.



I just love to kiss her feet. There's nothing like the smoothness of baby's feet. Lily loves when we play "stinky pinkies" and Grandma sniffs her toesies and makes a BIG DEAL about the smell! She will move her leg over and point her toe right up to my nose if I'm not quick enough to sniff!

Well, it's time for this little piggy to go WEE, WEE, WEE, all the way home!

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Flea Market Finds

A couple of weekends ago I went to a local flea market with my sisters and husband. It was hot and sticky out.

This flea market had everything imaginable. Old things, new things, junk, food, toys, furniture, etc. We didn't even walk through the whole thing.

Here are just a few of the treasures or oddities that caught my eye.

I just love these blue painted chairs.



I don't know how comfortable they would be, but that is my favorite color of blue!

Look at this old table/drawers. Just think of all the things you could keep in them!



These glass bottles called to me, standing there so pretty all in a row, with the sun glistening off their different shapes.





Here are some old canned goods.



I wonder if they were for real or if the labels were reproduced and just stuck on new cans. I didn't pick up a can to see if they were empty or not. Hmmm......

Some people are just so crafty. Just look at what they did with this old step ladder.



Right next to it was this old high chair. Another beauty!



Here are some old chairs just begging to be bought and refinished. I was surprised to see that the one on the left was actually a rocking chair with no arms.



I stumbled across this box of troll dolls. Remember these? These came out when I was young, but then didn't they reappear in the 90's? I wonder when these are from - back when or "way back when"?



We found this old rag doll. Can you read what's printed on her apron? Click to enlarge the photo.



But here's the REAL DEAL Raggedy Ann. Did you have one growing up? I did. Look at that price! $85.00!



But I have something to show you that's even pricier than that doll. These two dolls cost $150 each. And they are "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you're UGLY". They MUST be antiques for that price. They were very heavy, too.

Meet Ugly Baby #1



And Ugly Baby #2



True, Ugly Baby #2 isn't as bad as Ugly Baby #1, but still *shudder*. Could be "Chuckie's" spawn.



Speaking of scary, remember these old Halloween costumes?



I thought this looked like Kathie Lee Gifford at first.



But I see on the side of the box that it says, "Cinderella". Oh.

This is the kind of costume we used to wear as kids, right? Bought them at the Five and Dime Store or K-Mart. Consisted of a plastic mask and a one piece cheap costume. We were LUCKY if we got this. Otherwise we went as a bum and burn a cork to rub all over our face. Whoop-dee-do. Kids nowadays go trick-or-treating in these elaborate costumes. Yeah right. They have no idea. But again, we used to go out for hours carrying a pillow case and come back home with it filled with candy. Now parents are too afraid to send kids more than a couple houses away for fear someone will put pins or a razor blade in their candy. So I guess it's a trade off. Shitty costume/great amounts of candy or fantastic costume/handful of candy. Yep. We had it better.

For all you Parrot Heads out there - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere!



These are original Tinker Toys in the original container for $20.



Look at this old-fashioned pull toy. I just love it!



You saw all those wonderful things above, and might be wondering just what exactly I bought.

Well, none of the above.

Not that I didn't want to, mind you.

Space is an issue, of course.

So this is what I did buy.

I bought this nice travel bag for $10.



It's a Vera Bradley knock-off. The real thing would cost me anywhere from $69-$92. Granted, it would be a little nicer, but for $10, this one will do!

My other great find is.......

Are you ready?

Don't be jealous now.....

Scroll down......










"Say what? A bowl full of smiles," You ask?

Oh, no, my friend. Not just a bowl full of smiles.

You see, these smiles squirt.

Oh yes they do.

There's a tiny hole right by their smile. So, you squeeze the ball, submerge it in water, let the ball fill up with water, then fire away. The guy at the flea market said that they shoot up to 20 feet!

I know. I am a sucker.

Why do I have a bowl full of them? 25 to be exact? Well, in a couple of weeks we leave for our annual camping trip with Jim's family. I usually try to bring something goofy (besides ourselves) to entertain the troops. What sounds like more fun than smiley squirt guns.

But wait. There's more.

I opened up a new box of Honey Nut Cheerios and guess what was inside?



That right there is a Fiona (from Shrek) squirter. See the hole in her little crown? Oh yes boys and girls, Patty's got herself a SPECIAL shooter.

So here's Fiona and the boys. Notice how some of the smileys turned around to smile at the Queen.



Oh, yeah. The guy who sold me these also suggested that I could wash these out and fill them with, let's say, liquor. Then we'd have "shooters" all right! (Although I don't see the need to wash them out - won't the alcohol kill all the germs?)

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