Did I tell you about the pool incident?
No?
About a month ago I had purchased a new bathing suit and was anxious to wear it to the pool. Not to show off my figure, mind you, but to finally be in a NEW bathing suit compared to the old rag I had be wearing for months.
It got pretty hot just lying in the sun, so I decided to go in for a dip in the pool. I grabbed my "noodle" (a flotation device) and walked into the pool.
I felt a pulling in my crotch.
I ignored it at first.
It hurt more than just a suit-up-the-butt-pain. The was a definite tug on my hair.
WTF?
I quick reached my hand INTO my bathing suit and pulled out the PANTY LINER that I forgot to remove after buying the suit! I could have discreetly thrown it away, but no, not me. I held it up in the air and said, "So THAT'S what's hurting my crotch! I forgot to remove the panty liner!"
Luckily there were only women around me in the pool and we all had a good laugh!
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When I was home for the holidays, I met up with a friend of mine for dinner. We went to a local Mexican restaurant. While we were there, I saw this young man sitting at the next table who looked an awful lot like my son's friend Ryan.
My eyes kept straying to him throughout the evening. He was sitting with a young woman who I assumed was his wife, 3 young girls, and possibly his parents.
I mentioned to my friend that I thought this guy was my son's friend, Ryan Day.
"That could very well be," she said, "because I heard that lady call him 'Ryan'."
Aha! Granted he looked just a smidge different from what I remembered, but it had been at LEAST 6-7 years since I had last seen him.
Finally Ryan got up to leave and I said to my friend, "I've just GOT to say something to him."
Ryan passed my table and I called out, "Ryan Day?"
"Yes?" He said.
"How ARE you?"
"Fine," he answered, a little hesitantly.
"I'm Pat ________, Jason's Mom?"
"Oh!"He said.
We hugged each other, and I asked how his kids were doing.
"Fine," he replied.
"Are these your little girls?"
"No, that's my sister and those are her kids."
"Oh. Well do you have pictures of your kids?"
"Yeah, yeah I do," he said, scrambling for his wallet. He pulled out a picture and said, "Here's my son, Garrett."
Now it was MY turn to be puzzled. "Don't you have a daughter named Brooklyn?"
"No."
"Well, who has a daughter named Brooklyn?" I KNOW one of my son's friends named their daughter Brooklyn, who was born around the time my great niece of the same name was born.
"I have no idea."
"Wait a minute," I said, the light bulb finally going on. "Who ARE you? Are you Ryan DAY?"
"No, I'm Ryan PETERSON!"
WTF! He must not of heard me say "DAY".
So bottom line - neither of us knew each other. We had a good laugh, I apologized profusely, he said it was fine, and we went our separate ways.
Ooopsie, my bad.
Can you say "AWKWARD"?
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